When Backing the Blue Hurts

It has been a really long time since I’ve blogged. I have been busy and didn’t really have anything that I felt was worth blogging about or that I am ready to blog about. But after the shootings in Dallas yesterday I felt like there were some things I needed to work through and I felt God nudging me to talk through it here.

As most of you may already know, my husband recently graduated from the Police Academy, so recently that he isn’t even out on the streets yet but it is coming very soon. We are so proud of how hard he worked to get here. (Lots of studying, sacrifices, brain surgery, having to start the academy over because of recovery time from brain surgery, tough physical and mental training to prepare.) And we are so excited for him to start the career that God has called him to.

However, in light of the continued strife in our country towards law enforcement it is a very sobering day. When I heard the news that 2 Dallas Police officers were in the hospital yesterday I was worried for them but honestly I didn’t want to process it. I didn’t want to think about them being hurt because that meant that I would have to think about my husband getting hurt. I didn’t want to think about how scared their families were/ are because then I would have to think about how scared I am/ would be. But you can only tuck down and hide the pain for so long.

Today a friend called me to check in on us and see how we were handling what happened last night. Ugh! I didn’t want to think about it much less talk about it. But this friend is very good at knowing when I should be processing things that I don’t want to process. So here I am. Full on, knee-deep in processing.

So do you want to know what I think? I think this sucks. I think that it sucks that for the men and women who put on a uniform every day to protect innocent people are being targets for ridicule and hate. These men and women who go out every night not knowing if they will get to come home to their families but who go out anyway because they want to make the community a safer place. I think it sucks for the people who love these Law Enforcement Officers to have to worry not only about the risks of this career in general but now worry if they will be targeted just because of the uniform they wear.

When you hear people talk about police officers they always talk about how they are a family. I can tell you first hand that it is true. Not only are they family to each other but their families become each other’s family. With that I realized that the reason I didn’t want to process yesterday’s tragedy is because I’m now grieving with and for people who I have never met. Police officers who have lost their lives in the line of duty have always made me sad but in a way that was fleeting. But it now affects our lives in a different very real way.

Today I had to explain to my daughter that she doesn’t have to be upset or afraid that her daddy might get hurt. (Maybe I was explaining it to myself just as much as I was explaining it to her.) That the world we live in is broken and that because of that there are bad people who hurt innocent people. But that we have a God who is in complete control even when these awful things happen. When she said that she didn’t want for her daddy to get hurt being a police officer I got to remind her that technically he has already gotten hurt by wanting to be a police officer. He was injured during the academy and had to have brain surgery (more on that in a future post) but God did not abandon us then and he will not abandon us now. God healed him and allowed for him to continue to pursue a career in law enforcement.

Even though this will be a tough road I am so thankful to be married to someone who is willing to put his life on line to protect people who need help protecting themselves. Someone who can share the love of Christ with our community. But I am also thankful to be apart of the law enforcement family as well as having a very good support system outside of that.

Our prayers go out to the officers and their families who have been affected by the recent tragedy in Dallas as well as all of the families who have lost loved ones in the line of duty.